Alienation ABCs: Alienating Bloggers through Content or Alienating Bloggers through Comments
September 22nd 2007 07:34
Alienation ABCs
I've been tagged by Yvonne Russell, at Grow Your Writing Business, to write a post giving my tips for making other bloggers hate you and driving your readers crazy. Check out Yvonne's own list in her highly entertaining post on the subject, Tips to Make Other Bloggers Hate You - Comment Crazy. I think you'll not only mentally savor the delicious dish of sarcasm she skillfully serves up, but that you'll also totally relate to the points she makes, as you recall some of your own blogging misadventures.
Are you back yet? Good! Didn't I tell you her post was great! And now, without further ado, I present my list of tips and techniques, which, if conscientiously followed, will help you successfully alienate bloggers and non-bloggers alike, causing them to avoid your site like the plague. (It's OK, though, because you'll be revealing your superiority in this way, which is critically important to you in achieving the greatness you obviously deserve.)
My List of Blogger Alienation Techniques
1. Whenever you visit another blog, look for as many errors as you can possibly find there and point them out publicly every chance you get. Be sure to leave them in comments, discuss them on other blogs, and even mention them in your own posts. (Better still, devote an entire blog post to them. After all, it's important for everyone to know that you knew they were wrong. And, of course, we all know that you've never made a mistake yourself.) Be sure that you don't contact the blog owner privately when the error is significant. He or she might think you were too unsure of yourself to mention it publicly.
2. Copy other bloggers' content and post it on your own blog, passing it off as your own, as often as you can. After all, similar content is floating around all over the internet, so no one will ever know. Since it happens often enough that two bloggers just happen to innocently write about the same topic--and sometimes even say much the same thing about it at roughly the same time, no one will be the wiser; and even if they are, they won't be able to prove a thing.
3. "Adopt" a breaking story that you read about on another blog, but don't give the other blogger credit as your source. After all, that blogger and blog are your competition. Who would expect you to credit your competitor with providing your "product" for you? And besides, if that blogger got the info from yet another blog (and was foolish enough to admit it--and link to the other blog, no less), what's to stop you from bypassing that blog completely and going back to the original source? And why shouldn't you? The original source is the one that counts, anyway. And who would know?
Besides, why gum up the works with too many links? (Everyone knows how time-consuming it is to create a lot of links.) And wouldn't things become too confusing with so many different credits? It's simply a more efficient method of creating blog posts--and it doesn't confuse your reader with too many facts!
4. Never write posts on your own blog either commending or recommending other blogs or bloggers. That should be your regular rule of thumb. It's a sure way to lose your readers to them! By writing posts that highlight the knowledge or expertise of other bloggers--particularly those in your own niche--you make yourself seem less knowledgeable or talented than the blogger you are plugging.
And by sharing "link love" with other bloggers, you are laying out the red carpet--or is it the "flying carpet"--that makes it devilishly easy for your readers to "fly the coop." Wouldn't you much rather have a captive audience--to the extent that that's possible on the internet, anyway. (Since it's already so easy for readers to click away from your page, why make it any easier for them?)
5. Always be argumentative and unpleasant when leaving comments on others' blogs. Forcing bloggers to defend their positions regularly will keep them on their toes. (They'll thank you one day.) And, if nothing else, when they've deleted your comments as spam, you can go around bad mouthing them behind their backs--which should obviously make you look better, while casting doubt on their sense of fairness in refusing to air honest debate on their blogs. In fact, be sure to be downright rude every chance you get; it will show them who's really in charge, earning you their deep, if grudging, respect.
6. Never recognize, appreciate, or thank your readers, even when they leave comments on your posts--and especially when they are other bloggers who leave comments on your posts. In fact, don't even bother to reply to their comments. After all, you've already given them enough by deigning to share your extreme wisdom with them via your sterling blog posts. The least they can do is comment, after all you've done for them!
Are You Ready to Take Charge?
Well, my list is a trifle shorter than Yvonne's was: only six items here. But, I think I've covered each tip fairly extensively, so I'll let it go at that. I'll leave it to you to decide whether or not you have what it takes to be a take-charge blogger--a blogger who knows exactly what's required to show the world who's the best: YOU!
Do You Have Any Alienation Inducing Tips to Share?
I won't tag any specific bloggers to write on this topic, but I will invite any who would like to write about it to feel free to do so. (If you do, be sure to let me know in comments and link to this blog post.) Anyone else who has any tips on this topic is also welcome to share your ideas with us in comments. We'd love to hear them!
Satirically yours,
Jeanne
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add? Any questions? Feel free to comment!
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Comment by Yvonne Russell
Thanks for joining in the fun.
Yvonne
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Don't mention it! I had a blast! It was as much fun writing this post as it was reading yours!
Glad you enjoyed it too!
Jeanne
Comment by Lillie Ammann
Comment by AmyHuang
Project Job Search
Travel Debate
Travel String
Love Adventures
Although I don't know if I am brave enough to do that! (Having made enough errors on my own blogs)
Comment by Calvin Warr
Comment by James Rickard
unlucky_ fishermen.com
Angling Fish
Check this out...
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks for the compliment--though I suppose it's somewhat of a dubious honor! LOL
I guess it's OK, though, as long as we aren't serious--at least in our intimation that bloggers should actually follow this advice! Satire is great, because it can very effectively highlight important truths while entertaining us at the same time!
Thanks for the visit!
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
You're not the only one! It's bad enough knowing that you've made the error in the first place--but to have it pointed out in public is even worse!
You've given the best reason in the world not to be too judgmental of other bloggers: We make mistakes, too!
Thanks for your welcome comment!
Jeanne
P.S. So glad to hear you'll be writing a guest post about Skype at Grow Your Writing Business next week! That's wonderful! It will be so helpful to those who need info on how to use it. I look forward to reading it--and I hope both your readers and mine will drop by Yvonne's site next week to check out your post!
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks so much for your input! It's great meeting you and hearing your (hilarious) take on the topic! (Satire is so much fun, isn't it?)
So glad you stopped by and decided to join the conversation, because, through your comment, I've discovered another fantastic blog to visit and learn from--YOURS!
I hope my readers will also decide to visit calvinwarr.com: marketing should be fun. Those who belong to MyBlogLog should especially check out Bad Product? Learn from Yahoo!
Drop by again soon!
Jeanne
Comment by brad shorr
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
What an excellent point! Thanks for bringing up the "Anonymous" issue! I hadn't thought of that one! It is, indeed, a cowardly thing to do--to villify someone in comments without identifying oneself.
Though, I will say, here, that it can sometimes be difficult for commenters--particularly new commenters--to figure out a given blog's comments protocol (to wade through the comments maze, if you will), which can sometimes cause them to come through as "Anonymous" unintentionally.
Of course, this, in no way excuses rude and inconsiderate behavior. Whether "Anonymous" or not, every commenter should certainly "comment unto others as they would have others comment unto them."
I don't think it sounds "wimpy" in the least to say that "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." If more people subscribed to that theory, the world--and, in this case, the blogosphere--would be a far better place! More people need to remember that you don't have to agree to be agreeable!
Happy to have you "sound off" on my blog, and hope you'll do it again soon!
Take care!
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Glad you enjoyed it! It's so much fun to write a post of this type! And it's gratifying to know that others are enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Glad to have provided your "nice Saturday chuckle"! If any blogger anti-popularity tips or tactics do come to mind, feel free to drop back by and share them! Thanks for your feedback!
Have a great weekend!
Jeanne
Comment by Louie
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
i think negativity of any description does the trick to alienate people, no-one is perfect ...
thanks again
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! I don't often say this, but I hope no one takes my advice! If they do, though, I, too, hope they don't decide to practice on you!
I definitely agree with your thoughts on negativity. It's the "perfect" way to drive other people away!
Great to see you! Thanks for stopping by!
Jeanne
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
None to add, except that some days I can't escape, altogether...*chuckle* I enjoyed your list though...thanks for sharing these invaluable tips.. going now to try and insult someone!
Lilla ....
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Great to see you! Glad you enjoyed my list! I enjoyed writing it, as well! Satire can be so much fun!
Don't be too hard on them, now...though one little clue in your final statement tells me I probably don't have much to worry about in that department: the word "try." That must be why I enjoy your visits so much!
Take care!
Jeanne